shinjukudivision | (no subject)

(no subject)

doppo is like a cat under the stairs
you just gotta coax him out

and jakurai is really good at that.

...Doppo...

[his face is flushed, his lips still close to Doppo's. his eyes don't leave him - if Jakurai's expression says anything, it's that he's into this. perhaps a little needy.]

Is it...maybe, that sometimes Jakurai is a little needy too?

[Because Jakurai deprives himself. Because Jakurai is a man who gives others his entire being in service and care. He rests his forehead against Jakurai's. He knows for a fact that he could love this man.

Maybe he already does.]

[so close, hearing Doppo speak his name, there is no defense. there is no alternative but the direct truth. he's cracked himself open some, to let Doppo see - he trusts him dearly, with his life, with his being like this.

he'd nod if not for the worry that he'd knock his head into Doppo's. so instead, he summons up his courage to say a word that shouldn't be this hard.]

Yes.

[yes, sometimes he doesn't want to be deprived. doesn't want to give his entire self away. he wants to want, and not feel guilty over it.]

You can want things too, Jakurai. It's kind of hard to say that when you work in a setting where you are always at someone else's beck and call. Where you always have to tend to someone else.

But let me... tend to you for once. Don't worry about anything else tonight but me, okay?

[He pecks him again, and then nips his neck.]

[he knows Doppo's speaking the truth, that he's saying words that Jakurai would say to someone that's not him, someone who needed to hear it. and yet he wants to say that it's silly, that Doppo needs his care, so reflexive to say that sort of thing. by his nature, he wants to take care of someone else. it's foreign to be the recipient, to be cared for.

except then Doppo's teeth are on his neck, and he can't protest, when a wordless sound escapes his throat - his neck is sensitive, he's never forgotten - and maybe this wasn't such a farfetched idea at all.]

Okay. I'll try, Doppo.

[he can't promise more than that.]

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