orenosei: (Default)
kannonzaka doppo | mc DOPPO ([personal profile] orenosei) wrote in [community profile] shinjukudivision2018-11-19 02:31 am

(no subject)

doppo is like a cat under the stairs
you just gotta coax him out



and jakurai is really good at that.
medicative: (048.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-21 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
[it crashes into his chest, and Jakurai finds himself grateful for it. to witness this, to see Doppo take control of his own wants. there is a core stronger than steel under everything else, and when it shows, he's every bit a wolf that could be hoped for.

the confidence helps to clear out some of the doubt. this is what Doppo wants. and, Jakurai is beginning to feel, it's what he wants as well. remove the haze of doubt and apology. just be selfish, and take.

he's not the only one breathing harder when they break apart, Jakurai's eyes having closed and being slower to open. his eyes take in Doppo's face, his lips, the look in his eyes. and then he nods just a touch. it's still okay.]
medicative: (poise.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-21 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
[it does still make him very aware of where Doppo is. how close he is, when his heart's recovering from that kiss. and then, he shakes his head minutely.]

...Jakurai.

[no need to be so formal. try his name again.]
medicative: (explain.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-21 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
I want you to call me what you're comfortable with.

[this is honest, and his arms wrap around Doppo a little better.]

But I also hope that one day you feel relaxed enough around me that you reach for my name first.
medicative: (052.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-21 08:16 am (UTC)(link)
[the smile on his face is evident in his tone.]

That's my sincere hope, Doppo-kun.

[that he's comfortable, and used to the name. that he doesn't feel like formality needs to come between them when they're talking alone.]

Say it as much as you want.
medicative: (tireless.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-21 09:02 am (UTC)(link)
[he pulls back a little to look at him, eyes widening a fraction. that was a move he didn't expect - jumping straight from "sensei" to his name with nothing on it.]

Doppo.

[he says it carefully, as if it'll disappear if he's not looking.]
medicative: (gasp.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-22 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
Doppo.

[and it's a little more confident this time. affectionate. maybe he doesn't know what he feels just yet - maybe it's not the same, maybe it is. but it doesn't change that he cares for Doppo highly, and that he wants to keep looking out for him, and to see him smile.
medicative: (043.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-22 07:17 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't have to exist right now.

[all of his stress could be locked outside the door. on reflex, Jakurai's hand moves up to soothingly rub Doppo's back - this is the most relaxed he's seen him ever, really. far be it from him to complain.]
medicative: (expect.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-23 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Doppo says it to make it real, he knows, and Jakurai nods, takes the kisses falling on him like rain, gentle and numerous. his eyes fall shut, his own acknowledgement of these truths. trying to relax to a degree himself, to focus a little more on feeling than measuring out these interactions, instead of thinking so hard that he's sure his mind needs to cool down.

(later, Jakurai will be able to go still, and feel the ghost of Doppo's hands on his shoulders. how they kept him anchored right where he was. how Doppo brought him there, and how much he might have needed that as much as the other.)

but his eyes are closed because he trusts him - trusts Doppo without hesitation, that in this space he can ask for what he wants, not just needs. stress, self consciousness, all the apologies - there's a solid door and a lock between them and now, and there is permission to simply exist.]
medicative: (response.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-23 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
[the weight of him is new, but he opens his eyes, bending his head to put it on Doppo's shoulder.]

Maybe not always, but more often, certainly. Whenever you can leave your stress at the door and say "enough." If, I think, you let yourself want more, and act on it more. Part of that tension is you trying to hold yourself back, instead of being yourself. Doppo.

[he can't help the slight lapse into advice - but he'll try to couple it as well with something from his heart, not the physician's handbook.]

If you need to be reminded of that more, you know I'm here.
medicative: (hover.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-23 08:53 am (UTC)(link)
I...honestly, I don't know.

[he could say he was, but happiness was something he was careful with. kept close, so it didn't run. and there were so many different forms.]

But I know that I want to find out. To see where this possibility could take us. Does that make sense?
medicative: (role.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-24 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. I promise I won't take too long to give you a proper reply.

[it's rare that he asks for time, instead of giving it. but he can't properly say what he feels - this confusing mess of things. Doppo came to him looking for companionship, for relaxation, for the release of stress, not to gather Jakurai's own. no, he'll handle it. somehow.

pulling back some, he just looks at Doppo, studying him. remembering him, every small detail.]
medicative: (joy.)

[personal profile] medicative 2018-11-25 10:38 am (UTC)(link)
And if I'm not quite certain what will be best for me at the present?

[he does not feel too much shame, admitting that to Doppo. Matenrou, he trusts with himself entire. he can be exposed, a little.]

Other than staying here, of course.

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